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David's avatar

One way I like to think about it is whether I am deciding to do things because of fear or joy. i.e. I should exercise because if I don't I am at more risk of bad health outcomes. I was invited by my partner for a run earlier this week and was shocked by how much I loved the feeling of running outside.

A thing I noticed was that this dichotomy is very well layered. See if it happens for you. The impetus to play may start to feel like it slides over to being a fear. i.e. "You should play or you will miss out on all the joys you should be having".

I've found that acceptance of fear and uncertainty and loving that I care, but being separate enough to feel the tug of joy is the easiest way to "play" with the fear based thoughts.

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Paul Nixon's avatar

Have a read of The Control Heuristic by Luca Dellanna. He has an interesting (and intuitively sound) model for the intention-behaviour gap, and much besides. His podcast on Econtalk is also worth a listen.

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